Tag: strength

More Than Words

When I was a little girl, I had grown people in my life make statements like, “A woman shouldn’t be president.  Women are too emotional. I’m a woman; I can’t imagine having to lead a country when I’m on my period.” I, as a child, respected those people, thought they knew more than me, and found myself absorbing and regurgitating those words.

When I was a teenager,  I had grown people in my life make statements like, “A woman shouldn’t be president.  A man should be head of the country,  because man is head of the church and head of the home, so God made men to lead. If there are qualified men, then a man should be in charge.” As a teenager, I respected those people,  thought they knew more than me, and found myself absorbing and regurgitating those words.

In my 20s, I was a headstrong, competent,  capable young woman with a mind for leading, a proven track record for organizing and building teams, and a vision for ministry.  Yet I was still internalizing, rationalizing, and regurgitating faulty, baseless, and harmful ideals about women in leadership.  I had internalized that because I was a woman, my strengths and gifts had been somehow mitigated by my DNA.

But the older I got, the more I realized that in society and in scripture, women are not only equipped for, but appointed to leadership roles. As a wife who has been loved, nurtured, admired, and respected for more than 20 years by a strong, Godly man who has walked by my side and was never threatened by my gifts, I have recognized that women are not only capable and called, but also often the most competent and qualified person to lead. Women successfully plan meals, manage budgets, negotiate domestic peace treaties, and overseee health and wellness, and that is just in their own homes. Many times that is on top of their full-time careers.

Those people who said those things when I was a little girl were wrong. Categorically,  scientifically,  they were wrong. A woman’s period is not a hinderance to anything other than her wallet due to all the clothes she ruined and the pads/tampons she had to buy…and pay taxes on <<insert eyeroll here>>.

Those people who tried to teach me about women in the church were wrong too. We don’t have to split hairs about women’s roles in ministry.  That isn’t what this is about. This is about acknowledgment that we have to do better about the messages we tell young people.  I was told by too many people that my leadership gifts should only go so far and should be kept in check because it would lead to a spirit of rebellion against male authority.  We have to do better.

It is a phenomenal achievement that a woman will be Vice President.  This isn’t a political post. Regardless of where you are on the political spectrum, this is a phenomenal accomplishment. Because women are equipped to lead. Women are called to lead. Women are capable of leading. And women are, very often, the most qualified for such a time as this. What makes women unique from men also may provide exactly what is needed in a church, organization, business, or nation to find success. To find solutions. To find hope and healing.

Don’t be afraid to tell boys and girls that it’s a great accomplishment that a woman is in charge. In spite of all the messages she has been told, she has risen to the top. Be bold. Elevate this moment regarding the VP even if you don’t agree with her politics. The messages you speak now matter.

Hangin’ Tough

Life. Is. Hard. Let’s be honest, there is nothing fun about pain, heartache, struggles, or challenging circumstances. Nobody wakes up in the morning hoping that the bottom is going to fall out. And when things are most difficult, I find myself looking at the lives of others’ that seem much more attractive than my own. Or I feel disappointed that I haven’t gotten where I’d hoped to be when it seems like everyone else has.

But no matter how green someone’s pasture may be, it didn’t get that way by sunshine and pixie dust. I mean, sunshine is important, but so is rain.

…And so is a good tractor.
…And a good hoe.
…And sun up till sundown, backbreaking sweat and tears.

Work like that is difficult and the last time I checked, Tinkerbell isn’t hanging out in my neighborhood making all things sparkly and beautiful. Yet everyone that I know and love and respect has experienced their share of heartache. Every person has looked tragedy in the face. Every person has had their own insurmountable obstacles in their path. Every. Single. One.

But it is how those difficult situations were worked through that makes people who they are. And even though suffering sucks and none of us want it, the grit that is developed from working through our stuff is actually a vital and integral part of productive and healthy lives.

Sadly, when we go through trials, we are quick to throw ourselves a pity party and look at the blessings and abundance of others without recognizing that those with the greenest pastures likely ploughed through the most manure, if you catch my drift. It’s the tough stuff that builds that abundance. It is the muck and mire that makes us a life that is beautiful. It’s the desperation of our troubles that will sow within us the greatest seasons of growth.

I see you, my friend. I see those parched and dry gardens from a seemingly never-ending drought and the fields that have been trashed by one too many storms. I see the weight of life’s circumstances weighing heavy on your back. I see the disappointment from yet another season of struggle and sadness from things not as you expect. I also see your grit.

Hang tough. Work it out. You have to work it out in order for it to work on you. So grab ahold of it. Wrestle with it. Use your resources and walk through it.

Draw closer to God the Father and as you lean into His Word and His strength, He will build something incredible from your brokeness.

-jewels

It Cuts Like a Knife.

I just returned home from a trip to the grocery store.  I went to get bread for dinner. Here is what I managed to bring home:

1. Garlic Bread.
2. Blueberry Bagels.
3. Box of Buttermilk Waffles.
4. Loaf of Multigrain Bread.
5. Package of Bakery Cake Slices.

Okay, I did get some eggs, too.  But y’all, I promise you, that cake was not on my list and I didn’t even realize I had it till I was unpacking the grocery bag! Besides, the cake, though, is anyone detecting a theme here?

I won’t lie; I think I’m feeding my feelings a heavy dose of carb-love tonight.  Anyone else do that?  I have had a rough day.  We have had a rough day.  Less than one month into our new lives here in Texas, and we have been dealt our first big blow.  It’s a big one.  Texas-sized, you might say.  We are really feeling it, too.  It’s not like we thought that once we got here everything was going to be smooth sailing.  But this situation sort of showed up unannounced and knocked us off our feet.

I’m not sure what’s worse: living in a state of near-constant frustration and disappointment or riding a high of peace, contentedness, and hope and have a situation come along that disrupts that.  On the one hand, who wants to be constantly frustrated and disappointed and feel as though there is little you can do but accept it and work on your own outlook.  I mean, that’s pretty sucky; let’s be honest.  But when you’re in that space, a big heartbreak is just part of the journey.  You’re used to it.  You’re numb to it.  You are already in coping mode, so you cope.

On the other hand, I cannot think of a feeling worse than the pound of your heart slamming to the ground from a mile high.  But, hey, you were riding high for a moment, so there’s that.

Anyway, here we are.  And I am reminded again just how feeble we are.  I am reminded of how people can let you down over and over.  I am reminded of how we fail others and ourselves more times than we’d like to admit.  I am reminded that we are broken as people.  We make decisions that are based in fear, selfishness, and carelessness and often guise them as “prayerful” ones.  We look to ourselves for insight when we should be looking above.  And when we should be ashamed and remorseful, we rest in our own pride.  I’ve done it.  So it takes one to know one, you see.  But it really hurts to be on the other side of that pain.

This is the point where I am tempted to spit out a bunch of clichés about God and His goodness and faithfulness to us.  You know the ones.  We’ve all heard them before.

God is good; all the time. 

God is faithful to finish what He started. 

What God brought you to, He’ll bring you through. 

And you know what.  They are true.  All of them.  But they are not enough.  Clichés are not enough.

What I am really thinking about tonight is me.  I know God.  But what I’m realizing is that I don’t really know me.  I think I have my eyes on Him.  I think I walk by faith.  I think that I rely on Him.  I am wrong.  I don’t.  And the evidence of that is all over circumstances like the one we are currently experiencing and how deep it cuts.

So tonight, I am soothing this cut with a carb-bandaid and taking a hard look at whether my actions match my words.  I am asking God to dig in even deeper and show me what I’m really made of.  That’s scary because I can see clearly that the more I ask that of Him, the more He does so, and it. is. painful.

I see now that regardless of what has happened, it’s the depth of pain that I am experiencing that is revealing to me where my heart lies.  He is showing me that it is the precise level of pain which shows me just how much I have allowed myself to rely upon anything and everything more than I rely on Him.

Lord, this pain is deep. But use it to give me a deeper strength to let go of anything which captures my heart more than You…
…and also the strength to stop after just one slice of my Walmart cake.

-jewels